I hate waiting. Most people I know hate waiting. Life is full of waiting: we wait for loved ones to come home, we wait for movies to start, we wait in lines at groceries, banks, or the DMV. We wait to hear the results of tests at school, and the results of tests about our health. Right now my love is waiting to find out if a new job will come through, unable to make commitments until he does. As writers, we wait for the muse to strike, we wait to hear back about a submission, we wait to see if anyone will discover our work, and we wait to learn if they love it as we do. All this waiting creates an often excruciating sense of anticipation, anxiety, or dread. It puts us in a state of suspended animation, of limbo: we understand, while in this limbo, why Dante used that term to describe the experience of being in neither Heaven nor Hell, of being profoundly uncertain of where one will wind up.
So, in an exercise of deep spiritual dedication, I thought I’d better come up with the top ten joys of waiting. You know, turn this thing on its head. Take a deep breath (well, maybe not if you’re waiting in line at the DMV) and find what we can love about limbo.
Top Ten Joys of Waiting
10. Any waiting room, anywhere, can serve as an object lesson in how NOT to decorate a room for the comfort and pleasure of its occupants.
9. The “take a number” machine reminds you of your first trip to Baskin-Robbins Thirty-One Flavors as a kid. (Oh, would there be any Bubble Gum or Peppermint Stick ice cream left by the time it was your turn?)
8. The conversation you eavesdrop on while in line provides excellent inspiration for dialogue between the two least-educated characters in your work-in-progress.
7. In an hour spent staring at your toes, you are taken on an emotional journey from rejection to acceptance, from “my toes are hideous!” to “I kind of like my left pinkie toe” to “my toes are beautiful, just the way they are.”
6. You finally have time to read your friends’ Facebook posts. (Although you regret, deeply and forever, looking up “twerk” on YouTube, as your friend recommended.)
5. You realize you have a great excuse to say “no” to invitations to upcoming events you were dreading anyway. “No, I’m sorry, I’m still waiting to hear about [fill in the blank], and I’d hate to take up someone else’s spot at your third cousin’s bat mitzvah, the one with the Klezmer Captain and Tennille cover band, only to have to cancel on you at the last minute.”
4. You realize you have a great excuse not to start cleaning the bathroom, because that phone call might come any minute, and you can’t answer the phone with your hands covered in Comet.
3. The anxiety from waiting gives you the energy to organize the hall closet. (Hey, your partner/roommate/kid can take that giant garbage bag of stuff to Goodwill. You’re done, you’ve earned a cold beer/dish of ice cream/nap.)
2. You make up six new verses to “American Pie.” In your waiting-induced mild psychosis, you think they’re better than the original.
1. Suddenly, a voice cuts through all the fear, anxiety, anticipation, or dread, and reminds you of everything you have to be grateful for, right in this moment: the ability to breathe, to worry, to create lists, to laugh, and to love.
I’m listening to radio coverage of the celebration marking the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington. It reminds me we human beings are also still waiting for some pretty important stuff: like true equality for all of us.
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I like your originality. I’ve never read an article on waiting and will probably have to wait a long time before I do again. Great idea – loved your writing.
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Thanks Peter – and your comment made me chuckle!
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I love the #1 reason to love waiting. After all the angst, suddenly we realize that we are fine, and life is beautiful.
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True enough…that moment comes to us, if we wait long enough. 😉
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I love the # 1 also….as I am on a 2 week wait after embryo transfer…longest wait of my life!!
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Oh wow. Fingers crossed for you. Thank you.
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Reblogged this on GoodOleWoody's Blog and Website.
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Thanks!
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Love number 6 and 7 and your humor there! Great post! I hate waiting too… 😀
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Thanks, Ellen – here’s hoping you get a chance to stare at your toes, too. 🙂
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Waiting rooms are great places to catch up on those exercises you put off that morning. Start with a few wall squats (the chairs are uncomfortable anyway). Then move to the center of the room and try some yoga poses – the standing on one foot types like “Crane” and “Warrior”. If the room hasn’t started clearing out yet, get into some “burpies” (marine pushups). It won’t be long until you’ve got the room to yourself and you can take a nice nap.
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Beautiful, thank you, Karl.
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I too hate waiting. It burns me out, which is why I always bring a book or magazine with me. But sometimes when you are anxious people watching and eavesdropping serves as great material for any writer’s block you’re having … that is until someone says “what are you looking at?” …and you can’t help but be annoyed and say “I’m looking at you there’s nothing else to look at,” and they say “well this conversation is private” and then you say “well if it was that private you wouldn’t be so loud and you would have taken it outside.” And then there’s a rumble. … Who knew waiting was so violent. Yeah…waiting sucks.
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I love people watching – and the term “rumble” brings to mind West Side Story. “When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way…” (Sorry, squirreled a bit there.)
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This was a very fun read. I don’t truly mind waiting… sigh… well, maybe sometimes I don’t mind. I mind if I’m hungry and waiting to eat or as you’ve said when I’m waiting for my hubby to get home. I suppose I truly mind waiting if I don’t have a book to read, or something to do that causes me to feel productive. Sigh, ok, I guess I do mind waiting.
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Next time you find yourself waiting without a book to read, try coming up with new verses to “American Pie,” or feel free to substitute your favorite really long song!
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I love #1, but I laughed at #7. I have excrutiatingly long big toes that are made fun of by family and friends alike. I think they had 1/2 size to my shoe size. 🙂
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I meant they “add” to my shoe size. I also meant to say “Congratulations!” on being freshly pressed.
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Thanks! Embrace that extra half a shoe size. Toes are beautiful!
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@”I’m listening to radio coverage of the celebration marking the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington. It reminds me we human beings are also still waiting for some pretty important stuff: like true equality for all of us….”>>
Now that is real talk for real! I’m waiting on that time to come also…Very insightful & fun way to use precious time while we wait . 2 thumbs UP
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We’ve got to remain focused on the important things – and do more than wait, but actively work to make equality happen. Thanks!
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Yep, I’m all over that..Every single day 🙂
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Reblogged this on elypocol.
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Thanks – glad you enjoyed it enough to share!
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🙂 I really liked it, you’re welcome
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Thank you so much for writing this! It provided a great laugh, (as I’m currently), waiting. More importantly I needed to read #1. Definitely what I need right now.
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Thanks for taking the time out of your waiting to comment! 🙂 Glad you liked it.
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I loved the Baskin-Robbins possibility. Great post!
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Thanks! (mmm…. ice cream… oh, sorry, I’m back.)
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I can really relate to the baskin robbin wait! as a child waiting was exciting..but as i’ve got older the waiting game agreeably creates a lot of anxiety! Fantastic article!
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So true… except when I was waiting for my semi-annual dentist appointment to start. That was dreadful! 😀
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hehe very true!
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Reblogged this on Fort Pelham Farm and commented:
With all of the tension in the world right now I thought this was appropriate.
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Thank you, I appreciate it!
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Reblogged this on hanan fatima.
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Thanks a bunch!
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Finally someone who agrees with me. I also hated waiting but now that I am retired that is my best feature. I had to learn patience and therefore blogging has been a life preserver. I needed to learn to take it easy and smell the roses. I was in such a rush I invited the devil in and almost joined him in a plunge into hell.
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Patience… a lifelong effort. Thanks!
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I hate waiting, too. There’s nothing worse than an idle mind…Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! 🙂
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I don’t remember who said it, but it’s a great quote: “My mind is like a bad neighborhood at 3am – not a place I want to be alone.” Thanks!
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Reblogged this on slothpress.
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I love this. Particularly 9 and 6. 🙂
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Thanks a bunch!
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I love all of them! Tks
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Waiting is painful in most of the time
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Reblogged this on gubaaa.
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I still hate to wait:)
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Number 10 is funny. Plus, I also just learned about twerking and wish I hadn’t
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I’ve been waiting for a post like this… No? Okay.
All joking aside, this was a great post!
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It’s so cool! I Love it 🙂
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Reblogged this on missmalikmusing.
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Thanks a bunch!
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Great take on an activity no one enjoys. I like how you essentially turned ‘doing nothing’ into an opportunity for ‘doing something’, whether that be making up a short story in your head centering around the woman across from you in the waiting room, alphabetizing your DVD collection while anticipating a call, or learning Mandarin on YouTube in line at the DMV. Bravo.
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Learning Mandarin on YouTube – awesome! Thanks!
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I just love how you make light of waiting. You take all the stress and anxiety out of waiting.
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Thanks!
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“8. The conversation you eavesdrop on while in line provides excellent inspiration for dialogue between the two least-educated characters in your work-in-progress.”
Yes, I do this all the time. I appreciate it when people talk loudly. The people I am eavesdropping on may not, though. (But, to be fair, I only eavesdrop if people are using their “outside” voices. And when I really need material, which is always.)
–JW
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A friend of mine gave me a great sweatshirt that said something like “be careful or I’ll put you in my novel.” I loved it!
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Nicely done! And…we are enlarged in the waiting…http://nineyearpregnancy.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/enlarged-in-the-waiting/
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How true. Thanks!
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The art of waiting, yes, enjoy to so much that I’ll kick the bucket one day.
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Well said. I agree that waiting has definitely had a positive impact on the cleanliness of my surroundings. I’ve never had such a sparklingly clean kitchen! I always tell myself, “Submit it and forget it,” but that’s wishful thinking. How could I forget about my little stories, all nicely packaged beneath a cover letter waiting for a potential taker to adopt them? Funny enough, the waiting always just inspires me to create something else so I can send that out too and wait around to see what happens with that as well. I guess I’ll always be waiting, but at least I have these ten things to appreciate about my waiting-room status in the meantime. Great post. Thanks for sharing.
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Keep sending your work out into the world – it will find its audience! Thanks for the great comment.
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Number 6! I was much happier not knowing, sigh.
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Let’s commit to backfilling that space in our brains with something more useful ASAP. 🙂
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the eves-dropping and staring at the toes – always do…hahaha…so well put. congratulations on being freshly pressed.
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Thanks, appreciate it!
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Congrats on Fresh Pressed.
You’ve taken a mundane activity and turned it into a positive, bravo!
Following your blog now. 🙂
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Thanks a bunch!
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This reminded me of a quote going something like that: “Everything comes in time to those who know how to wait.” [Some famous person/author I’m too lazy to look up.] Anyways, nice post. I liked the American Pie part!
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Thanks! I wasn’t sure how many folks would still know that song. 🙂
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This post really struck a chord with me! Like the majority of people, I hate waiting. And I’ve already done a lot of waiting in my two decades of living. The most difficult wait for me was last year, with seemingly endless waiting by a hospital bed for days, weeks and months, hoping and praying my seriously ill mother would be okay. It was awful but even that waiting eventually ended, thankfully with joy rather than sadness.
#6 made me laugh. Until a few days ago I had no idea what “twerking” was until, after all the online furore over Miley Cyrus’s performance at VMAs (which I didn’t watch), I gave in and Googled it.
Great post! Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.
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Thanks! And I hope to find some other more useful information to take over the spot in my brain where “twerking” is now, very soon.
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I wish I could have your optimism about waiting
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That’s why I wrote the post – I needed a dose of optimism myself. Thanks!
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LOVE this post!! We ALL can relate to waiting… the ‘hurry up and wait club’! Bravo!
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Thanks a bunch!
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hahaha! love it! nice work
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Nice piece. I loved #8 and definitely can relate.
Myself, I’d make a bad drug addict…I hate lines.
Oh, and I work at the DMV.
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Thanks – and your comment gave me a good giggle!
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I read this with a huge smile on my face all the way to the end. Congrats on your achievement. You deserve it. 🙂
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Thanks!
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The waiting sounds great in your description. The benefits of waiting allure, but, unfortunately, my Lithuanian-English dictionary do not have such word. Being present in my day do not allow such luxury as the waiting for something. The cost is too high if we appreciate indeed “here-and-now”
http://arthiker.wordpress.com/2013/08/29/abc-of-self-deception/
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The “here and now” is all we have, truly!
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I too can disappear into the clouds while waiting. Zoning out gives me an escape from the tedium and the time passes quickly. I have time to think because there is little else to do. Great post!
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I love the idea of waiting as a gift of time. Thanks!
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Reblogged this on darfuronline.
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This is great! I laughed about ‘twerking’ because although I didn’t look it up on Youtube, I did Google it. I was so mad about reading it everywhere but having no idea what it means. Great spin on this expansion of time we all hate!
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Thanks! I put “twerking” on my list of things I’d rather not store in my brain. 🙂
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Lol, no doubt. After I read the def, I wished I had passed! 🙂
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Reblogged this on maxueri and commented:
Great article ! if you want to go further suggest a book called ‘Slowing Down to the Speed of Life’ by Richard Carlson & Joseph Bailey
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Great, thanks for the recommendation!
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Great article. My favourite is starting to be #8, eavesdropping into other’s conversations. You can catch some interesting conversations which make you wonder what was said before you got there !!
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Reblogged this on dalvenrey.
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hey u gave a new perspective to ‘Waiting’. Nice read!!!
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Thank you!
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Beautiful
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Pingback: Happy waiting | Mirrorgirl
Reblogged this on Sweet sharing.
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Thanks so much!
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ur welcome liz
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Pingback: Of Fairs and Fame | Point No Point
I have had my share of torturous waiting. I guess to learn to wait patiently is a virtue few of us possess. I would tell my kids good things come to those who wait. They would be convinced only half of the time. So, I was careful when to impart such wisdom. I enjoyed your post. I will wait to read your next article. I will remember # 5 for sure. Thanks.
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Thank you – I remember adults telling me the same thing when I was a kid. I think I believed them about half the time, too. 🙂
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Pingback: Happy waiting | Free psychology
Right on target…
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This made my day! I laughed tons as I read it! And since I am an extremely impatient person, this will be very useful in the future. 🙂
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Oh, it’s great to give someone a chance to laugh – thank you!
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I like that the anxiety of waiting makes me sweat, thus, burning calories. Who needs a sauna when you can sweat it out in a doctor’s office?
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Good one! thanks!
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The anxiety of not knowing…wow, how familiar…and frustrating…and I hope that your waiting was worthwhile…that it panned out in the end. I’ve written a lot about being in that ‘dark room’ of not knowing what will come next or knowing what will come next but not wanting to think about it.
You already said waiting is a part of life. I once surprised a young 20s woman in line waiting at Subway …I paid for her lunch Made her day…and mine, too.
How crazy is that?
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I love that – paying for someone’s lunch. A random act of kindness. Nice!
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Impressive! 🙂
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#11 People watching, does it get any better?
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I love to people watch! Thanks!
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This is adorable. But regarding the toe looking, I always begin by thinking that I could be a foot model, and end up with believing that all feet are gross and should be hidden
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You might be right – we might have to add that stage to the emotional journey of our feet: ‘all feet should be hidden.’ Except dog paws. They are soooo cute! 🙂
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What a fantastic post, I have never thought about these things while waiting, I especially like the point on the decoration 🙂 I have a “greek foot” meaning my 2nd toe is longer than my 1st toe… this has always been (to my dismay) an object of discussion with my friends if we have had to wait for something.. xx
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Learn to love your ‘greek foot’! And thanks!
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Reblogged this on reem7amade.
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Thanks a bunch!
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🙂
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I like how most articles now have an element of twerk lol
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You have a great outlook on life! I love it how you take something and turn it on its head 🙂 Here’s to a great week!
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Thanks, and same to you!
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Reblogged this on Welcome to the inner workings of my mind..
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Thanks!
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Reblogged this on LoveLoveLove and commented:
The Essence of Waiting 🙂
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Thanks a bunch!
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Nice! Yes, I agree that we spend so much of our lives waiting…. If I must wait anywhere, eg: deli line, Dr.’s office, I make sure my Pandora is streaming w/ headphones on or I have my own book or magazine!
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Ah, Pandora – what did we do before Pandora? Love it, thanks!
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Reblogged this on fotamulitalo and commented:
I do not like to wait. So, this was a nice way to look at the funny benefits of waiting.
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Thanks for the kind words, and the reblog!
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Reblogged this on oblivion.
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Thanks a bunch!
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Reblogged this on lilmslawyerrrr.
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Thank you for this. I was expecting something more serious but was delighted to enjoy a more lighthearted article. I especially liked the truth of #1. Thank you again.
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Thank you, glad you liked it!
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I cant stop doing #2 now! Intriguingly I read this whilst waiting, perhaps strengthening the power of American Pie…
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Ha ha ha – I think you should share your new verses on your blog! Thanks!
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Very cute! Sometimes the simplest things in life give us the greatest thoughts, or at least moments of humor. Your attitude is wonderful.
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Very true – the simplest things bring us the greatest joys. Thanks!
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really nice read … waiting for the next!
gitslahiri98.wordpress.com
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Thanks!
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Amazing portrayal of one of the simplest things in life. I especially liked the first and second paragraph.
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Thank you so much!
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Omg i just love this one. Waiting for the bus to get me home.
Sent from my iPhone
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Its awesome how you made a boring and depressing experience into something meaningful and spiritual. I know what i need to the next time now. Thank you.
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Thank you for the information. We could really make every second beneficial and not being wasted!
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I really hate waiting. I am currently in a constant state of waiting, usually to find out what my score on some school thing was.
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I hope your latest school-thing score is what you hope for!
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Way to look at waiting!! I love it!
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Thanks very much!
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Reblogged this on Less Is More…More or Less. and commented:
I so needed this! What a great laugh!
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Thanks so much – great to be able to give you a chance to laugh!
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You are welcome!!
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