Pine Street Episode 132

David had no idea that Kassandra held such good will for him. His loneliness formed a wall around his intuition and understanding, a wall that was virtually impenetrable. Paradoxically, the more he longed for company, the more he behaved in ways that further cemented the wall.

The plan that tickled the back of his mind exemplified this paradox. He figured that Leo would soon move out of Allison’s basement and in with Franny, anyway, so why not hurry it along a bit? And then, with Allison needing a roommate, David could move in. 

Just down the street from his dad and Louise, not needing to see how close they were becoming, but nearby, so he could keep an eye on that situation.

Far enough away from Sasha so that she wouldn’t have an opportunity to slink back into his life more than he wanted her to.

And Allison would of course stay close to Leo, and give David information that he might be able to use, when the time was right, to insert a wedge between Leo and Franny.

All this scheming came from the need to find someone to be close to, someone who could be a partner. Most of us are like this. The seed of our behaviors is natural, necessary. The plant grows warped toward the only light we offer it, whether its source is compassion, understanding, and love, or jealousy, envy, and fear. 

The wall David built around himself only let in light from the fear that if anyone truly knew him, they would reject him. So the seeds of his behavior grew toward that light, creating a tangle of schemes and plans too complex to manage. 

Stealing dogs, knocking over lovers with a jeep, and now sowing consternation among friends. David kept plowing forward like a road grader through the snow, trying hard not to notice what he splattered along the way.

His next stop, after the office supply store, was not to Leo or Franny, as he could do nothing so directly. David’s next stop was back to Marilyn’s house, to start the wheels in motion with his father and Louise. 

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