Author: You’re holding my creative process hostage! Think of all the people out there waiting for my next piece. And you’re turning them away. You should be ashamed!

Muse: I’m not ashamed. I’m focused. Besides, I don’t control your creative process. It’s completely free to do as it likes.

Author: Then why have you shut down all non-essential functions in my brain? Oh sure, I can eat, sleep, breathe, but I have no access to ideas for my writing. It’s like they’re behind concrete barricades, or something! When I try to call up an idea, I hear a prim and proper voice say “we’re sorry, this line is not functioning due to the current lapse in Musing.”

Muse: That’s not the message I’m trying to send. If you’d just agree to come to a conference session –

Author: I don’t negotiate with mythical figures!